10 Ways to Deal With Conflict

11 Apr

Pattie Porter thinks about conflict resolution every day, just like I do.

I enjoyed reading her second Minibük, “Stop Avoiding Conflict“on the plane a few weeks ago.

"I prefer this way of resolving conflict."

Here are Pattie’s “10 ways to deal with conflict” to reflect on and incorporate into our lives:

  • Accept conflict as part of every day life – conflict is everywhere and can be a source of opportunity for greater insight, understanding and change
  • Recognize the early signs of conflict – observe and listen for those little things in yourself and others that mean conflict is brewing below
  • Address conflict before it escalates – like fixing a roof before it rains, addressing a conflict before it is full blown can help to save a relationship or avoid unnecessary damage
  • Know you have choices on how to respond to conflict – replace reactions like shutting down or walking away with staying and listening
  • Show emotion – it’s OK to  show empathy, caring, compassion and concern and even an appropriate amount of negative emotion
  • Breathe – taking some deep and purposeful breaths can help you to sort out your thoughts and think more clearly during a conflict
  • Check your assumptions – everything is not always as it appears – reflect and review before jumping to conclusions
  • Communicate one unmet need every week– unmet needs add up so express them in a simple and direct way to your family, work colleagues, others
  • Listen… then restate – try not to be the first person to speak in a conflict – that way you can listen to the other person’s concerns first and make sure you understand them before you react.
  • Work with a feedback partner – identify someone you trust who will be honest with you to give you feedback about your reactions in conflict – there is always more to learn

Me? I’m going to work on the one highlighted in red:)


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2 Responses to “10 Ways to Deal With Conflict”

  1. Pattie Porter April 17, 2016 at 4:47 pm #

    HI! Jeannette, that you for sharing the top 10 tips and sharing the one you will do. It is also my favorite one because often it takes courage to ask for that one need you really need from someone else. Thanks for sharing and being a supporter. Pattie

  2. The Olive Branch Blog April 18, 2016 at 9:26 am #

    Hi Pattie. Your work is so helpful. Thank-you for all you do for the field of conflict resolution. Jeanette

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