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Feel Free to Fantasize!

7 Sep

Perhaps you’ve heard about the value of imagining success – the idea that, if you “practice” something, then you’re more likely to be successful at it. For example, if you imagine yourself running that half marathon and finishing, then you’re more likely to actually DO it. And, do it successfully.

Do Your “Pillars” Stand Strong?

31 Aug

The age-old question, “What makes people truly happy?” has been around for as long as anyone can remember. And, it’s a question that’s stumped many a philosopher, much less a psychologist! But, it seems research has come to the rescue, and we may finally understand what leads to happiness.

What’s Your “Theory”?

24 Aug

You may have heard about the importance of the “developmental” years (around ages 5-12) and wondered what they mean. What are we “developing” exactly?! Turns out, these years are when we develop our basic “theories” about the world – Is the world safe or scary? Are people generally trustworthy or untrustworthy? Are we capable or […]

Why You Should Treat Yourself Like a Child

10 Aug

As a therapist, I notice a lot of recurring themes in my office. And, one seems to be popping up more and more lately: The idea that we’re supposed be perfect/do things perfectly or else we’re failures. Failing, it seems, isn’t an option these days, and the fear of failure seems to be causing a […]

Are You a Marriage “Team Partner”?

3 Aug

The most important “team” you’ll ever find yourself on is in your marriage, so it’s worth investing time and effort into being the best team you can be.

What Is Your Happiness “Set Point”?

27 Jul

Did you know you have a happiness “set point”? I didn’t either, til recently. Turns out, researchers have been studying the subject and have found that about 50% of our happiness is genetically-set, and about 50% comes from our environment and experiences.

When Did You Last Experience “Leisure?”

20 Jul

When was the last time you looked over the holiday cards you’ve received? Since it’s July, it’s probably been a while. But, think back – what did most of them have in common? The word, “busy.”

What’s in Your Chest of Drawers?

13 Jul

I’ll never forget trying to leave the house when my third child was an infant – as I started to walk out the door, I noticed he was crying (the “I need you now!” cry), and I hesitated to see how quickly my husband would respond. Turns out, he was putting groceries away at that […]

I AM Enough

30 Jun

It’s hard to believe how often our past makes its way into our relationships, but you only need to listen to couples seeking help to find out how much our childhood determines our conflict-style and dynamics.

When Is It Too Late To Save a Marriage?

22 Jun

I get asked the question all the time: When is it too late to save a marriage?