“Because it Matters”

10 Feb

Often … a real life experience inspires me to write a specific post.

The idea for this blog was born when I was at a meeting with other mediators and I thought … wow, we might need a mediator.

Big Dogs Playing Tug Of War CaptureWe had such differing opinions about a project we were working on. I observed my colleagues get pretty passionate about their perspectives and positions. I watch people do just that in mediation all of the time and was pretty surprised that as mediators, we were pulled by the same force as the parties we try to help.

So, I reflected on the scene that was unfolding before me and discovered that it happened “because it matters” to us … whatever “IT” is.  All we think about is our side of the issue, why we are right and how we can convince the other side that we are right. So, consequently, they aren’t right.

Out the window goes the cool and calm ability to step back, listen and look at both sides.

It was a great lesson for me.

Years ago, before I was trained as a mediator, I would probably not have stopped to observe the dynamic in the room.  Rather, I would have rolled up my sleeves, dug in my heels and maybe even retreated to my corner to come out for another round.

Now, when I get caught up in the moment, I sit back and think – what would a mediator do … to help??



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2 Responses to ““Because it Matters””

  1. Denise Peterson March 10, 2014 at 2:47 am #

    We all often need to take a step back and view it through another’s eyes “what would I do if I were…”

    • The Olive Branch Blog March 14, 2014 at 11:48 pm #

      Thank-you for writing, Denise. I totally agree. Viewing a situation through someone else’s eyes can help in so many ways!

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