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Don’t Care for Me – Part 2

25 May

Last week, I posted Part 1 of a short series of the challenges of being a caregiver. We want to give. Why does someone else not want to receive?

This week, we explore ways to overcome the resistance with a new perspective – after having walked a mile in the other person’s shoes.

  • Do an assessment – What help does the person really need? Are you over doing it? Are there things that the person can still do that you are assuming he/she can’t?Senior and young holding hands
  • Pick your time carefully – Try to find a time when you both are more relaxed so you have a higher likelihood of a more successful conversation.
  • Ask your loved one for his/her preferences – Although you may not be able to meet all of the person’s desires, including them in the conversation is not only important, it’s critical. There may be choices that the person can still make that will help him/her feel more empowered. Think about when you gave your child the ability to choose peanut butter or tuna for lunch. It’s the same principle.
  • Enlist the help of others – Is there someone whom your loved one respects and trusts that can help? Having a conversation with that person, who is perceived more in the role of an ‘adviser’ or ‘confidant,’ can make  difference.
  • Consider a trial run – This is one of my favorite suggestions – I have written about it before in a different context – Try it on for Size. The future can seem endless when you are making a decision that will affect someone for a long time. That’s where a trial period comes in. you can build in a specific time when things can be reevaluated. How is it going? Do things need to be tweaked? This approach takes the finality out of any decision.

I just realized as I was writing that I have lots more to write about … so it turns out that this will be a three part series. Tune in next week for more tips.

Jeanette

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