High Conflict Divorce–The Third Commandment

21 Nov

I’m sure all of you have been waiting with baited breath for the Third Commandment for mediators dealing with High Conflict divorce (insert partial sarcasm)! But, really–taking them one by one has really helped me focus on the important role of the mediator…and, I hope they’re helping you, too.

Here’s the Third Commandment: The process is all about being proactive.

I like this one, too. It’s all about clearing up possible misunderstandings BEFORE they become misunderstandings. Family Therapy Magazine gives the example of Thanksgiving (which is also timely as well, as Thanksgiving is right around the corner). For many divorcing parents dealing with custody disputes, Thanksgiving can be confusing. Does it mean Thanksgiving Day? Or, does it mean Thanksgiving weekend?i_love_being_organized_magnet-rd58d4afa671c4340ae1cd96b9e4733d6_x76w3_8byvr_512

Before allowing the parties to decide who gets Thanksgiving on which year, it may be best to have the parties define what Thanksgiving really means. THEN, the parties can decide which parent gets which holidays.

Come to think about it, this is a pretty good rule for life, in general. As I navigate the murky waters of my health insurance (and my daughter prepares for knee surgery), I decided I would call my health insurance company BEFORE the surgery and find out exactly what the bill will be. That way, no confusion!

So, food for thought on your next mediation–hope it’s useful!


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