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How To “Undramatically” Back-Out of Drama

2 Feb

Do you ever find yourself in the midst of “drama” you just can’t seem to escape? If you’re like a lot of my clients, you may be involved in family drama, friend drama, or (my favorite) relationship drama, some of which just seems to constantly revolve around you.

No matter how you “got into” the drama in the first place, one of the most important skills you can gain is learning how to GET OUT of the ongoing conflict – without creating even MORE drama.

Here are some good questions to ask yourself if you need to exit a dramatic situation – fast:

1. Whose needs are getting met by being part of the ongoing conflict? What might you “get” out of being part of the conflict? Is there part of you that feels comfortable in the midst of drama? Are you sacrificing your needs to satsify someone else’s need to be in a chaotic situation?

2. Check your childhood – is drama/conflict familiar? If you grew up in a chaotic household, you may be “programmed” to be attracted to drama – it feels familiar, after all! It takes an awful lot of work to “reprogram” yourself, and it takes a lot of insight to turn things around. A good therapist (and a lot of insight) can help you make the connection.

3. How are your boundaries? Are your boundaries too rigid or too flexible? Will you know when you hit your drama “tolerance”? Know when to remove yourself from the drama – and then actually do it.

These are just some of the many questions you should ask yourself when you find yourself in the middle of ongoing conflict (drama). You may not have created it – but, you can end it!

Britt

 

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