Looking Within

11 Nov

First day of vacation … Bill and I are out to dinner and somehow we got off on the wrong foot. By the time we got back to the condo, we weren’t talking. How can that be?

Well, the next day, Bill headed to San Diego for a few days for work, which turned out to be a really good thing.  I had some time by the pool and dove into a book I had download on the Kindle.  It was my kind of non-fiction … “ Tear Down the Wall: Be Your Own Mediator in Conflict by Grande Lum.

It’s a great book with short chapters that deal with those walls that block our conversations and relationships.

#9 is entitled “Find your Internal Conflict.”

It was all about the evening before.

“When you have conflict with someone else, look for the conflict inside yourself.”

man-looking-in-mirrorWow – when I reflected on our spat, I realized that I had brought an issue with me on vacation … something that I needed to figure out. It was weighing on me during and after that 9 hour drive. And I brought it to dinner too.

The moral of the story for me is that when you gain internal clarity, you can then deal with the other person. And I can vouch for the fact that it works. I was critical of Bill. What I was actually upset with was something I had to work on within me.

This book became part of my library at the perfect time. I took the next couple of days to quietly work through my issue and by the time Bill returned, we were ready to have a great vacation together.

Thank-you Mr. Lum for sharing your observations as a mediator. I will use them in more ways than you know.


P.S.  Happy Veterans’ Day and thank-you to all who serve our country.

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