New Year’s “Conflict” Resolution

30 Dec

I’ve been thinking a lot about a New Year’s resolution to help me (and hopefully our readers) with conflict resolution skills in 2014.

Although it would be great if conflict just disappeared … that’s just not going to happen … as long as we humans interact with one another. So, what’s the one thing I can do to deal with it better?

My resolution is to be more “MINDFUL.”

Here’s why ….

Happy-New-Year-2014-1-1Mindfulness is the ability to be aware of what we are sensing (i..e. our antennae are picking up) from people with whom we are interacting.

It’s about opening ourselves more to what the other person is saying … and meaning. And tuning into what it means to them … as well as to us.

In that way, we can be “present” in the moment and to give our full attention to the conversation we are having.

It’s about the state of mind that we are in when we are in a conflict.

To me …  it’s about stepping back, taking a deep breath, and focusing on what I can do to improve the situation.

Am I reacting to the emotions on the surface without understanding them better? Is there a question I can ask that will reveal more information? Is there hurt, fear, frustration, rejection etc. underneath? Or is one of these emotions what I am actually feeling inside?

Being mindful can help me to avoid the “knee-jerk” reaction to conflict that usually just fuels the fire.

So … that’s my goal in 2014 … to think more before reacting … to better understand conflicts I am in.  Perhaps then, I can take a step or two back to help it resolve rather than to fan the flames.

Hopefully, my resolution can help our readers in some small way too.

Happy New Year to you all.





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