Reliving the Past

16 May

Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.

– Cherokee proverb

A significant part of conflict is reliving the past.

Pocket watch buried in sand

Think about it. Whether it’s co-workers blaming each other for a failed project or a couple arguing over a large purchase one of them made … we spend a lot of time rehashing the past.

Why do we do that?

I think it’s because it’s easier … much easier to tell ourselves, and then to convince anyone else who will listen, that we are right and the other person is plain fat wrong. We tell our side of the story many, many times.

Our ultimate solution is for the other person to wake up one morning and realize how wrong he or she has been and to apologize profusely, so that we can add “See, I told you so.”

And how often does that happen??

Not often, huh.

But, why don’t we let go of the past?

Because it’s hard … much harder to admit that we are partially responsible for the conflict.

That means having to share in the work it will take to get past this bump in the relationship road and to stop blaming the other person.

It means turning around and looking into the future to come up with a new path instead of circling the same block (in the past) – over and over again.

It requires maturity and letting go of the stranglehold that keeps you locked up.

It means not letting yesterday use up too much of today.




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