‘Tis the Day After Christmas …

26 Dec

“Tis the day after Christmas, and I have a confession to make–my “conflict expectations” were WAY off.

By “conflict expectations,” I mean the self-talk I did before my nuclear family and I left for Atlanta to visit my extended family for 10 days.

A few days before we left, I must have had some time on my hands because I spent an inordinate amount of hours self-talking my way into whatever possible conflict I may encounter during our stay. Let me give you an example: My Mom often makes little comments about how little alcohol I consume relative to everyone else. The implication is that I’m not as much fun as everyone else (keep in mind my family members regularly polish off several bottles of wine per meal, so a couple drinks is considered sissy-like)Untitled

So, I prepared myself by envisioning every situation in which she may make a rude comment to me–and I practiced what I would say in return. Sounds like a good idea, right? Turns out, not so much. I spent all that time practicing for a conflict that I don’t think will ever materialize. In fact, I’ve been here two days and have, so far, survived several meals without hearing anything about my drinking habits!

Then, it dawned on me that, oftentimes, we expect–and prepare for–the worst when, in fact, the reality is much less dramatic. It’s always good to prepare in advance for possible conflict, but our imaginations can often run wild unnecessarily.

Happy Holidays readers! I hope whatever conflict you predict doesn’t come true!


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