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Why Can’t We Hang Onto the Honeymoon Phase?

22 Dec

Who out there remembers what it was like to first fall in love with your partner? Remember how he/she could do no wrong? What about now? Do those same feelings pop-up 20 years later? Or, are they a little -er- different?

Well, since Jeanette’s last post dealt with how to keep being considerate and caring in a relationship long-after the honeymoon phase, I thought I would add onto her thoughts.old-people22

I’ve often wondered why we grow a little less tolerant of our partner after so many years together. And, I’ve always assumed that the wonderful things about him/her just faded with time. Or, maybe we just notice them a little less.

Not so, according to the latest research. The REAL reason our partner impresses us less (and annoys us more) as we grow older together is because, in actuality, those little things that bothered us A LITTLE in the beginning now bother us A LOT.

In essence, we were easily able to overlook the little annoyances we noticed in the beginning of the relationship because everything else was so wonderful. But, as we get more comfortable with our partner, we aren’t as forgiving of those little annoyances. At all.

So, it may be a good idea to remember that our partner hasn’t necessarily gotten less kind, less considerate, or less flexible as we age. Instead, those things we “overlooked” at the beginning of the relationship really upset us now. And, that can lead to more conflict.

In the end, it’s always better to focus on the “good” stuff your partner has to offer anyway – despite the other stuff you overlooked initially!

Britt

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