Ya Gotta Wanna

30 Sep

It’s probably been 30 years since I first heard the phrase “Ya gotta wanna.”

I pull it out of my memory banks every once in a while – like when I need extra motivation to do something I’m not all that excited about. A good example is getting up before dawn last Friday, on the first crispy morning of autumn, to go workout. Or thinking about losing a few pounds while eating that dessert.

Changing the status quo means trying something new, taking a different path, venturing out into the unknown, working hard or just saying “no thank-you” when you are offered that piece of holiday pie.

So, what made me think of all of this today?

Well, I experienced a few challenging mediations this summer, with one party who just didn’t want to budge from a position.  He/she was fine with the status quo even though tears were flowing and emotions were high.

line-in-the-sandI mentally debrief after every mediation … thinking about how I thought it went, how I might have asked a question differently, what I thought was a turning point, What lessons I learned etc. So, when I had a few difficult mediations that occur close together, I have to remind myself the that parties have to ‘wanna’ be there and have to ‘wanna’  think about options and alternatives to the way things are.  If not, they close off the possibility of exploring and discovering  —  they draw a line in the sand that they don’t want to cross.

Ya gotta really wanna lose those few pounds to say no to that dessert just like ya gotta wanna mediate… or the magic of mediation doesn’t have a chance.



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